Boudoir Photography: Process, Discretion and What to Expect

Almost every enquiry about a boudoir shoot begins with an apology.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” “I’ll probably be really awkward.” “I actually don’t like photos of myself at all.”

This is so reliable that I now treat it as normal – not as a warning sign. Feeling unsure beforehand doesn’t make you unsuitable for a boudoir shoot. It’s simply the starting point.

What boudoir means to me – and what it doesn’t

Boudoir photography isn’t nude photography and it isn’t an erotic shoot. Nor is it a question of lingerie.

It’s about self-perception: about seeing yourself, for once, the way you feel about yourself at your best. Some do it before their wedding, some after a break-up, some after a pregnancy, some simply because they owe it to themselves.

How much skin is shown is up to you – decided beforehand, in writing, not spontaneously in the room.

Discretion is the most important part

This is the point I talk about in most detail, because it’s the real foundation.

• No picture is published without your explicit written consent. Not on the website, not on Instagram, not in a portfolio.

• The consent is not part of the contract you have to sign to get the shoot. You can say “no” and still receive all the pictures.

• You can withdraw your consent at any time.

• The pictures are stored encrypted on my side and aren’t shared via open cloud services.

• The gallery through which you receive your pictures is password-protected.

If you like, I can show you beforehand exactly which of my published pictures were taken with consent – and how that consent is worded. All pictures in this article are published with the explicit consent of the people shown.

How a shoot works

Before: the conversation

We talk on the phone or write before anything is booked. We clarify:

• what you want to show and what definitely not

• where the shoot takes place

• which outfits you bring

• what matters to you about your own body – and what you don’t want emphasised

That last question is the most useful of the whole conversation.

During: the first ten minutes

We don’t start with the most intimate part. We start clothed, usually with a shirt or a blanket, often with music and always with coffee.

I tell you all the time what I see and what comes next. You don’t need any skills or knowledge – I guide you through every movement. If something feels uncomfortable, you say so and we do it differently. No discussion.

Expect two to three hours. Most of that is talking, changing and breaks.

Afterwards: the selection

You see the pictures first. Not the internet, not my website – you.

What you should bring

• two to three outfits you feel confident in (comfortable rather than spectacular)

• an oversized shirt or a knitted jumper – in my experience these produce the favourite pictures

• something to drink and some buffer time afterwards

• no stress about hair and make-up: if you like, I’ll organise it

Frequently asked questions

• Do I have to undress? No. There are shoots that take place fully clothed.

• I’m not in top shape. That’s not a criterion. It’s not about a body, it’s about an attitude.

• Can my partner come along? Yes, if it helps you. It helps some people and not others – you know yourself best.

• Are the pictures retouched? Light, colour and distracting elements, yes. I don’t change your proportions or your skin unless you explicitly ask me to.

If you’re thinking about it

Just write to me – even if you’re not sure yet. Most of the conversations I have about this don’t end with a booking at all, but with “good that I asked”. That’s a completely legitimate outcome.